The holiday season is upon us and people worldwide, especially in the West, are excitedly preparing for celebrations. The winter holiday season is fondly known as “the most wonderful time of the year,” and while there is much to enjoy, it is undeniable that the holidays bring many stressors.

The holidays are all about coming together with loved ones, exchanging gifts, stuffing our bellies, and enjoying the atmosphere created by cheerful holiday music, decorations, and accompanying traditional practices. While this coming together is highly sentimental to some, it has revealed itself to be incredibly isolating for others. For example, many people do not have friends or families with whom to enjoy the holidays, whether that is due to strained relationships or a complete absence of them. In these times, it is not unlikely for unpleasant feelings such as grief or resentment to arise.

For those not struggling with extenuating circumstances made harder by feelings of holiday loneliness, there seems always to be immense pressure for the holidays to live up to grand expectations. When we see depictions of the winter holidays in the media or reflect on joyful and nostalgic seasons of the past, it is easy to become wrapped up in the idea of what the holiday season is supposed to look and feel like. Couples are expected to have perfect, cuddly winter seasons filled with hot chocolate and Hallmark movies, while parents are expected to construct the ideal holiday experiences for their kids that will result in lifelong memories filled with treats, exciting gifts, and usually a visit from Santa Claus. Companies and individuals alike decorate their spaces and play Christmas music on a loop in the hope of creating experiences filled with holiday magic, and people of all backgrounds are faced with the challenge of finding presents that will make those in their lives happy.

Our expectations for the holidays are grand. We are hard on ourselves if the Christmas spirit doesn’t possess us as we feel it should. Countless potential plights have the potential to hinder our holiday joy, bringing out feelings of inadequacy and anxiety. Maybe we give a gift that isn’t received well, or there is familial conflict during Christmas dinner, or, worst of all, the holidays just don’t feel like they used to. Internalizing events such as these can lead to increased stress or burnout from trying to meet the demands of modern holiday-driven consumer culture—whether it’s finding the perfect gift, hosting an elaborate dinner, or keeping up appearances.

When considering the morals and values that the holiday season is meant to be built on, I immediately think of community building, gratitude, and generosity. Nonetheless, on a societal scale, those concepts are often overshadowed by stressors and expectations, which lead us toward materialism. In my opinion, this is the most significant barrier to remaining mindful, present, and appreciative throughout this time of year.

It is no secret that the winter holiday season has become heavily commercialized, often leading to an overemphasis on consumerism. While the holidays can be a time of joy, reflection, and connection, the focus on materialism can overshadow the deeper values of generosity, gratitude, and togetherness. Many holiday traditions, such as gift-giving, are increasingly centered around purchasing items, often driven by advertising and sales campaigns. The pressure to buy the “perfect” gift or to have the most lavish celebrations can overshadow the symbolic meanings of these traditions, which initially emphasized love, thoughtfulness, and community.

The holiday season is also marked by numerous sale events, such as Black Friday, Cyber Monday, and pre-Christmas discounts, encouraging people to spend money on items they might not necessarily need or want. Often, a sense of urgency and fear of missing out drives people to buy more than they can afford. Additionally, holiday marketing is designed to make people feel like they must participate in gift-giving, travel, or excessive feasting to celebrate “properly.” This constant bombardment of ads can make people feel inadequate if they don’t meet specific consumerist standards, promoting the idea that happiness and fulfillment come from owning particular goods.

Needless to say, there are countless adverse effects that might result from overemphasizing consumerism during the holidays. Firstly, many people experience financial strain due to overspending on gifts, travel, or entertainment. The desire to impress others with lavish gifts can push people beyond their means.

Additionally, when consumerism becomes the focus, the deeper values of the holidays—such as spiritual reflection, family connection, and acts of kindness—can be lost. The emphasis on material gifts may replace the more meaningful experiences of sharing quality time with loved ones or practicing generosity without expecting to receive something in return. When the focus shifts to material gifts, relationships can become transactional rather than emotional, and giving can become more about fulfilling societal expectations than sharing love and kindness. People often associate love and affection with the value or number of gifts they can give or receive, and they may begin to feel like they need to “buy love” or “prove their affection” through expensive gifts rather than expressing their feelings in ways that emphasize emotional connection, support, and love. This can diminish the true spirit of the holiday season, which traditionally emphasizes love, kindness, and shared experiences.

I recently mentioned these critiques to some friends who have been endlessly spending and stressing over finding the perfect gifts for all of their loved ones. Naturally, I was met with the response that this heightened time of consumerism is still in line with traditional values, such as generosity, because most gifts being bought are intended to be given to loved ones rather than kept for oneself. If the holidays truly are about giving, then presents should suffice. I would argue that this default way of thinking is overly simplistic and still predominantly driven by commercialism and greed rather than genuine generosity, which should be extended to all beings, whether or not they play predominant roles in our daily lives. When we think about them simply, presents are physical goods that you buy in a store, put in a box, slap a pretty bow on, and give to a loved one. Giving gifts to friends and family barely scrapes the surface when considering the human capacity to be compassionate and generous.

While winter holidays such as Christmas have no direct correlation to Buddhist thought, the Dharma offers a profound critique of greed, which is seen as one of the primary causes of suffering. In terms of the holidays, greed manifests in our expectations, whether those are for certain gifts, experiences, or reactions to the gifts that we give. Buddhist teachings can shed light on the issues of commercialism and materialism that dominate the winter holiday season in the West.

The Buddha taught that true happiness comes from within and is cultivated through practices such as mindfulness, compassion, and wisdom, rather than from external possessions. Greed leads us to believe that by acquiring more things, or in this case, specific experiences and feelings commonly associated with the holidays, we can fill a deep-seated emptiness, but this emptiness is not solved by material accumulation. Instead, the cycle of desire continues, and the momentary satisfaction fades quickly, leading to more craving and dissatisfaction.

Buddhism encourages individuals to shift their focus from consumption to mindfulness and presence. Practicing mindful gift-giving, such as offering meaningful, heartfelt gifts rather than material excess and emphasizing quality time with loved ones over commercialized experiences, can bring a more profound sense of fulfillment. When we give gifts to people in our lives, Buddhism would encourage a shift toward more mindful giving. Rather than focusing on the monetary value of gifts or the act of buying things, the focus should be on the intention behind the gift. In the Buddhist tradition, even a small gift, offered with love and without attachment, is considered more valuable than an expensive gift given out of obligation or greed. By remaining intentional with our gift-giving, the holiday season has the potential to be about cultivating inner peace, joy, and compassion rather than chasing fleeting pleasures through consumption.

While there is no inherent problem with giving gifts to those we know and love, our acts of giving should not end there. One of the central virtues in Buddhism is dana, or generosity. Generosity is not just about giving material gifts; it also involves offering time, kindness, and attention. We can—and should—extend those acts of generosity toward people beyond our own inner circles. We can do this through volunteering, working with charitable groups, and generally helping people we do not know.

Buddhism teaches that giving without attachment cultivates selflessness, compassion, and interconnectedness, which are essential for overcoming greed and ego-based desires. Giving time, effort, or resources to help others in need—whether through charitable donations or volunteering—can provide a more meaningful and lasting sense of fulfillment. Being charitable also directly aligns with the holiday spirit and benefits everybody, whether or not they have loved ones of their own with whom to celebrate. For those who feel lonely during the holiday season, volunteering might help them find a sense of community and compassion. On the other hand, those who have people to spend the holidays with can come closer together and spread their holiday cheer with the greater community through charitable initiatives! While it can be fun to indulge in holiday festivities, neglecting those in need while we do so completely contradicts the values on which the holidays are based.

We can also pair gratitude with our practices of generosity,  taking the time to find joy in all of the gifts life has to offer, whether or not they are related to the holiday season. Instead of focusing on what’s missing or what needs to be bought, taking time to reflect on the blessings of the past year can shift the focus away from materialism and expectation. Gratitude can help people appreciate the intangible gifts of love, health, and community. Similarly, once we shift our attitudes to be aware of our blessings, we are less likely to get wrapped up in holiday expectations.

Another way to avoid expectations during the holiday season is by practicing non-attachment. Rather than striving for a “perfect” holiday, the focus should be on the present moment, appreciating what is, and cultivating a sense of peace, gratitude, and connection with others. Simple, intentional celebrations—free from the expectations of commercialism—can bring more joy and satisfaction than an excess of possessions, treats, or decorations ever could.

When everything and everyone around us is telling us to shop, spend, and endlessly consume, we must remember what the spirit of the holidays is really about. A Buddhist perspective offers a profound antidote to the greed and commercialism that dominate the winter holiday season in the West. By focusing on generosity, mindfulness, contentment, and the impermanent nature of material possessions, we might shift away from consumption and attachment and toward deeper, more meaningful connections with ourselves and others. Rather than giving in to the pressure to buy and consume, we are invited to cultivate inner peace, compassion, and simplicity—transforming the holiday season into a time of true joy, reflection, and generosity.

Related features from BDG

How to Generate Limitless Generosity: Giving Is Never Unaffordable
Virtues Versus Values: Transforming and Channelling Anger and the Passions
“Us Versus Them:” Buddhist Perspectives on Navigating Disagreement and Division

More from Dharma Bum Buddhism by Kassidy Evans