Gautama Buddha once said, “If you knew, as I do, the power of giving, you would not let a single meal pass without sharing some of it.”
In this, and many of his teachings on generosity (dana), the Buddha emphasized the mutual joy that we experience through acts of giving. This joy is not just a fleeting emotion, but a profound sense of fulfillment that can inspire and uplift us. It is the foundation of a good, virtuous habit for spiritual development.
My journey towards understanding the joy of giving began in my early adulthood. I had always known that being generous often brings rewarding feelings, but I had a limited understanding of what true generosity entails. The common view of generosity I encountered was that it involves giving money or physical goods we have in excess to those in need. I believed that not all of us could afford to be generous.
As a young adult, I have been living paycheck to paycheck while struggling to establish myself for quite some time. I have an entry-level job, rent, bills, student loans, and an ever-growing list of new and daunting responsibilities. A few years ago, I might have said that even if I wanted to be generous, I could not afford to be, as I must save my resources and acquire more before being able to share with others. In moments where I have thought this way, I’ve also justified it by claiming that I would be generous in the future when I could afford to be.
The Buddha would disagree with the notion that one needs a certain level of wealth to be generous, and over time, I too have discovered that my definition of generosity, conditioned by modern materialistic expectations, has been far too narrow. The limitations that I placed on my ability to be generous were constructed by greed, or oftentimes a fear of not having security in my life. By letting go of my restricted definition of generosity and in turn expanding it in a Buddhist sense, I have become a more generous and open person.
Generosity is one of the six paramitas, or “transcendent perfections,” which the Buddha taught to guide practitioners toward enlightenment. The paramitas describe the true nature of an enlightened being, and their practice requires tapping into our own buddha-nature. In college, I joined and eventually led a student organization based on Buddhist principles and practices. The paramitas were central to our discussions and activities, which translated into completing countless hours of community service.
Our most significant and successful initiative was our food redistribution program, in which we would all come together with supplies such as water, sandwich ingredients, snacks, and essential and sanitary goods. We would put together bags of food and supplies and then travel around the city as a group, often to areas such as downtown, and distribute the bags to those in need. It did not take long for me to realize that even as a struggling student, I already had more than I needed, and my tendency to cling to things was not beneficial to myself or others. I realized that compassionate actions like helping hungry people sustain their bodies ultimately helped me sustain my heart and practice, and this was where I was the most deprived.
Nonetheless, it took far more than one day of community service for that understanding to really stick with me, as I have been putting my needs before others daily throughout the majority of my life. I still often have to fight selfish urges and tendencies. Even with an understanding of the Buddha’s definition of generosity, giving completely freely is not only challenging, but scary. Individualist culture has programmed myself and countless others to seek comfort in financial stability and a variety of material goods. To give up these constant cravings and become more naturally generous, we must also fearlessly surrender our attachments to “securing ourselves first,” which is thus a giving of goods, but a giving of ourselves. So, with this understanding, how might we realistically begin to incorporate this release into our daily interactions?
Generosity is like a muscle: it can be trained and honed. For those of us who have been conditioned to prioritize our own needs, becoming more naturally generous and altruistic requires diligent practice. It’s a journey of letting go of greed and attachments to material goods. It can involve a true spiritual struggle, such as overcoming the urge to turn away from someone in need, especially if it means giving up personal resources to help them.
In training this muscle, we must have a constant awareness of our mental states and intentions. When I personally began trying to incorporate generosity into my life, I had to put active effort into putting others’ needs before mine. Volunteering and attending events such as food redistributions proved very helpful by reminding me firsthand of the profound beauty of generosity. Slowly, the practice became more instinctive, and I started being more generous on occasions when I was not particularly volunteering or setting out to provide for others. When our hearts are truly in the right place, we tend to give to others without first thinking about what to save for ourselves, relinquishing greed and fear.
Additionally, in the Buddhist tradition, generosity is about giving freely without expecting anything in return. The act of giving is driven purely by compassion (karuna) and the desire for the well-being of others (metta). It’s not just about what we give, but how we give it.
Something that I have personally had to work through in this sense is not expecting recognition for being generous. Ever since childhood, I became used to receiving praise for sharing with others, so I grew up expecting to be commended for my kind actions toward others. Even now, when I am generous, I often find myself wanting to tell others that I have done a good deed so that I can receive validation, which will ultimately fuel my ego.
While I try not to judge myself for thinking and feeling this way, I also try to be aware of and ultimately correct those tendencies. Buddhism has taught me that if I am acting out a genuine longing for the betterment of humanity, I should feel joyful and fulfilled with my acts of kindness whether others recognize them or not. If I give to charity because I want to call myself a good or generous person, maybe my heart isn’t quite in the right place. Similarly, we will not always receive a “thank you” when we give to others, but that should not hinder our practice. Once again, generosity is about not expecting anything in return, including the receiver’s gratitude.
Eventually, a steady practice of conscious generosity can transform into something that flows out of us without thinking about what we have for ourselves first. The Buddha emphasized the joy of giving. Generosity is not meant to be obligatory or done reluctantly. Instead, it should be performed when the giver is “delighted before, during, and after giving.” When one is able to experience this joy of giving, they realize that true generosity is not taxing, and you do not need a specific set of resources in order to “afford” to be generous.
Finally, it is crucial to note that generosity comes in many forms. Beyond money, some people can be extremely generous with their emotional energy, which is something that young people are becoming significantly mindful of nowadays. The ways in which we are reconceiving of generosity are manifold. For example, we can be generous with our time, attention, presence, knowledge, skills, words of encouragement, empathy, emotional support, patience, advocacy, hospitality, and so much more. Creating safe and supportive environments for others costs us nothing. While sometimes it may be easier to ignore the pain and suffering of others, being willing to open our hearts to the emotional needs of others is just as important, if not sometimes more, than being generous with goods or money. Generosity in these ways can have a profound and lasting impact, building stronger relationships and a more connected community.
We never know when someone may be struggling, so it is important to practice emotional generosity at all times, not just when the practice seems evident. Extending patience and kindness to someone who doesn’t overtly seem like they’re in need may be the most generous thing we can do, and it can potentially change the lives of those who may be suffering in silence.
Once we begin prioritizing generosity, our hearts may open to all people, allowing us to connect with others in ways we never thought possible. We may also learn a lot about ourselves and where we struggle, where we are closed off, and where we hold back. Once we recognize when, where, and with whom we found it easier or more difficult to be generous, we can begin to work through those fears and biases, allowing us to freely experience the joys of giving and move closer to adopting a more natural expression of generosity.
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