I was not born a Buddhist like some of my friends and sangha members. I was born a regular Westerner in this post-modern industrial materialist society we call the United States. I grew up in a typical middle-class household, I suppose. But some time in my twenties I began to yearn for strategies that were more dependable, universal, and capable of helping me develop, particularly in light of a childhood marked by panic attacks, depression, and anxiety. It wasn’t until my late twenties that I discovered a few Buddhist books and started reading and rereading them. After two years, I realized that I would not get anywhere without a live human teacher to explain, model, and embody what I had been reading.
Just as one learns piano or woodworking, house-building or sewing, or anything new, we need human mentors and teachers. We may think that AI, YouTube, or a DIY manual will suffice, but this is not true if we wish to learn something so deeply and thoroughly that it becomes intrinsic. This is especially true if it involves working with negative emotions, habits, psychological confusion, and turmoil. This complex human experience is well-suited to having spiritual guides. The Vajrayana guru-student relationship can be very supportive for working with our minds.
I began to pray in my awkward way to meet a human teacher. This went on for two years, and then I met one with whom I felt an immediate connection. I took refuge—the refuge vows made sense to me. I dove right in, with my regular mind all along yelling what do you think you’re doing? this is crazy, this is weird! And my heart knew that the path felt familiar and that it was one I needed to follow. Soon this new teacher recommended that I meet Lama Tharchin Rinpoche in California, and so I boarded a plane and went to Pema Osel Ling. I walked into the dining hall where Rinpoche was teaching and was immediately struck by the quality of his voice.
I sat in a plastic folding chair and listened, not understanding a single word he said. It wasn’t because of his English, which was excellent, but rather due to my stunned state in a feeling of homecoming. Relief, tears, and then bewilderment rushed over me. I was soon back the following summer for several weeks of retreat, and within a year I knew that I had to move there to be near him, to study, meditate, and absorb the Buddhadharma. Thus began 13 years of receiving and implementing teachings, until his parinirvana in 2013.
I participated in a long retreat with 13 sangha companions, through all kinds of ups and downs. We tend to go through these when we examine and work with our mind, our habits, our emotional states, our history and psychology, and what we call the path toward realization or enlightenment. As newer Buddhists, we often think this is some kind of linear path leading from A to B. But along the way, we discover it’s more an unpeeling of the onion or a deep trek down a spiral mountain, to the molten or frozen center of the Earth. The depths of our psyche, our spirit, and karmic history all unfold, laying bare our hidden traumas and habits.
As this unraveling deepens, something shines a little clearer and a little brighter. The blessings of the lineage and the teacher help facilitate this tremendously. The best kinds of teachers help this process of unfolding discomfort and brightening, mostly by modeling, but often by guidance as well, most particularly the guidance toward following the infallible methods and wisdom of the Vajrayana path.
I have been a truly fortunate student of Lama Tharchin Rinpoche and Thinley Norbu Rinpoche. It was a great shock to receive a phone call in December 2011 that Thinley Norbu Rinpoche had passed. Neither my body nor my mind could metabolize the news and I had a dramatic upheaval lasting several days. It was a sort of out-of-body experience that is hard to describe. I have heard stories of mothers who lost a child or someone who lost a partner suddenly. In some ways, letting go of one’s true spiritual teacher in physical form affects us far beyond a family member. They may have been connected to us over lifetimes. The impact of meeting and then parting from them again is more powerful than anything I expect to ever experience. Then, in 2013, our dearest Lama Tharchin Rinpoche also passed into parinirvana and this was another monumental loss.
And so this event welcoming and celebrating our new lama, Yangsi Gyana Ta Rinpoche, Jigme Pema Osel has brought the most intense joy, gratitude, and celebration. Once again, my heart feels full to bursting, this time with joy in place of sorrow. We spent a full day in ceremony, ritual, celebration, together with 600–700 sublime practitioners from all parts of the world. In October, Rinpoche will grace Pema Osel Ling in California, shining his wise, vibrant, and affectionate heart on everyone who cares to join in, a genuine master upholding the Nyingma Dudjom Tersar lineage.
May his life be long, healthy, and happy.
May we meet again and again in this and all future lifetimes.
See more
Yangsi Gyana Ta Tenshuk (Long Life) Ceremony at Pema Osel Ling (Vajrayana)
Enthronement of Yangsi Gyana Ta Rinpoche at Kunzang Gatshal, New York, USA. September 8th, 2024 (YouTube)
Related features from BDG
Book Review: Awakening Wisdom—Heart Advice on the Fundamental Practices of Vajrayana Buddhism by Pema Wangyal Rinpoche
Buddhist Kingdom of Bhutan Hosts Fourth International Vajrayana Conference
On Prejudice, Vajrayana, and the Perception of “Otherness”
A Tribute to Thinley Norbu Rinpoche on the Fourth Anniversary of his Parinirvana
